marikafoxtail:

“Well come and well met, my brave little spark~”

luna-fig:

voidsentprinces:

PLD: Man fuck this Roegadyn, biggest asshole in all of Ul'dah.
WAR: Man fuck this unyielding rage, I got a partner to protect.
DRK: Man fuck Ishgard, biggest assholes in all of Coerthas.
GNB: Man fuck the Garleans, especially that Sephiroth wannabe…biggest asshole in all of Garlemald now that Asahi is dead.
MNK: Man fuck Gridania, biggest assholes in all of the Shroud.
DRG: Man fuck Ishgard, biggest assholes in all of Dravania
NIN: Man I’d fuck this Crow guy, but he’s a loveable asshole.
SAM: Man fuck the Sekiseigumi, biggest assholes in all of Kugane.
RPR: Man Emet-Selch really just trolled this guy leading to generational trauma. Biggest asshole in Elpis.
WHM: Man FUCK the Padjal, biggest assholes literally anywhere.
SCH: Lets help this guy fuck this tonberry.
AST: Man fuck Sharlayan and Ishgard, biggest assholes ever.
SGE: No, seriously, FUCK. SHARLAYAN.
BRD: No, serously, FUCK. GRIDANIA.
MCH: No, seriously, FUCK. ISHGARD.
DNC: Man, fuck cringe, embrace it, expel it and look cute doing it.
BLM: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, YOU’RE COOL! AND FUCK YOU I’M OUT!
SMN: Man fuck Allag, ruining everything for everyone.
RDM: Would you care to fuck this catman?
BLU: FUCK THIS IM OU–*BOOM*

I had to

puffydove:

3liza:

escuerzoresucitado:

twistcmyk:

tainbocuailnge:

you can do whatever you want forever. obviously. but that also means i get to be a hater on my own blog and i think if you’re trying to get some kind of kismesis yaoi out of oberon and merlin you’re barking up the wrong store. the whole chapter is obeguda kismesis yaoi and you’re only dragging merlin into it because you think he’s hotter than guda. merlin doesnt know oberon exists because oberon wants to stay as far away from him as possible forever you’re not getting plausible hatesex out of these from either direction and it’s even worse when you’re not even making it kismesis. he would not fucking say that. meanwhile guda knows oberon better than anyone on the planet save castoria and oberon thirstfollowed them to chaldea and they have a million reasons to have kismesis yaoi hatesex. obecas is also yaoi by the way except when its yuri. you understand.

hedgehog-moss:

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

• the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”
  
• That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”
  
• oh, that hurt
• I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots
  
• the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life
  
• on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious
• I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was
  
• The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”
• God.
• for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again
  
• it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”
  

homeboygirl:

i think everyone needs to adopt “i didnt say it was good, i said i liked it” into their vocabulary right now. it did me wonders

iapislazuli:

iapislazuli:

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

Actually forget what I said. This dream is more important than anything

illumancer: